Listen!
(1)
The bad year,
The sad year,
The windy year,
The tearful year,
The year of overwhelming doubts.
The year,
whose days were running too long,
and its patience-falling too short.
The year that Pride,
the year that Sense of Pride,
begged at their knees.
The year of plight,
The lowly year,
The year of shadow-
and sorrow.
The year Poury cried;
The year of Morteza’s blood;
The resigning leap year…
(2)
Life is not a trap.
Love is not a trap.
Not even death has ever been a trap-
a trap to me.
For the dearly loved-
and the dearly dead,
fly free, fly in freedom,
fine and whole.
(3)
I found my love in the bad year,
in the sad year,
and it repeats to me-
again and again:
“Do not give in!”
I found my hope in the ocean of despair,
My silvery moonlight in the dark night,
My love in the year of plight,
And exactly when-
I was about to turn into ash-
I went on fire.
Life was spiteful to me-
but somehow-
I could just smile.
This earth was cruel to me-
but somehow-
I could just lay unafraid-
on the ground.
For perhaps,
looking inside-
I could somehow decide-
that life is not dark,
and Earth is neat.
***
I was bad.
But I was not evil.
I escaped from Evil.
And the whole world cursed me.
Then,
the bad year,
the sad year arrived:
The year Poury cried;
The year of Morteza’s blood;
The year of gloom.
But somehow,
somewhere-
in that year-
I found the stars,
I found the sublime,
I found the good.
And I bloomed.
You are fine.
And it is a confession.
I have already-
confessed and cried-
many times.
Now,
I can somehow-
confess and smile.
Perhaps for I could decide-
the first and the last,
the dark and the light,
and days and nights,
are meant to merge.
(4)
You are fine.
And I was not evil.
I found you somewhere in this world-
and my might,
and my words,
my flesh and my soul,
all turned into poem.
Even the hardest rocks-
turned into poem.
And,
Evil turned into a verse,
And the verse turned into beauty.
So the Heavens sang,
the birds sang,
and water danced.
I asked you:
“Be my small sparrow and I become-
by your return, next spring-
a blossomed tree.”
The snow melted,
flowers beamed.
And Sun smiled.
And I watched,
And I somehow changed.
To you,
I now confess:
“You are swell,
and the bad year,
the sad year, well,
is gone.”
You smiled.
And I came back-
to Life.
(5)
I want to be good.
I want to be you!
This is all I can now confess.
Listen!
Stay with me!
Stay forever- if you please!
By Ahmad Shamlou
Translation: Maryam Dilmaghani, July 2009, New Brunswick
Translated from the poem "Negah Kon" first published in the anthology Havay-e Tazeh (Fresh Air) 1957, Tehran.
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