11 मई 2023

If I Had Three Lives

If I had three lives, 
I'd marry you in two.
And the other? 
That life over there at Starbucks, 
sitting alone, writing -- a memoir,
maybe a novel or this poem. 

No kids, probably,
a small apartment with a view of the river,
and books -- lots of books and time to read.
Friends to laugh with; 
a man sometimes,
for a weekend, 
to remember what skin feels like when it's alive. 

 I'm thinner in that life, vegan, practice yoga. 
 I go to art films, farmers markets,
drink martinis in swingy skirts and big jewelry.
I vacation on the Maine coast 
and wear a flannel shirt
weekend guy left behind, 
loving the smell of sweat
and aftershave more than I do him. 
I walk the beach at sunrise, 
find perfect shell spirals
and study pockmarks water makes in sand. 
And I wonder sometimes if I'll ever find you.

---Sarah Russell

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